the last one

The last one.  The last one.  The last one!

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow. 

Seemed like this day would never come.

Now that it has, I have mixed feelings about it, though. 

Definitely happy to celebrate that God has carried us through this part of our journey, comparatively unscathed.

Definitely happy that He has shown us so many blessings that we would not have been able to see had He not sent us on this journey.

Definitely happy that this is the last time I will have to experience the now way too familiar side effects.

Definitely happy that routines will start getting back to normal - well, closer to normal anyway.

Definitely happy that my hair will start growing back.

Definitely happy, definitely, definitely happy for my mouth to get back to normal and actually taste everything again.

Definitely sad that my time with a lot of these ladies and gents in the chemo room is coming to an end.

Definitely sad that I will not get to chat with my nurses every week anymore.

Definitely sad not to meet up with with my doctor every three weeks, feeling comforted that he has an answer for all of our questions and concerns - and he has interesting stories too.

Definitely sad that I will not get to laugh and listen to all kinds of stories with these new friends.

Definitely sad that I won't get the weekly encouragement that I've become accustomed to.

Definitely sad not to keep up with them as much, with their lives, their health.

It will be hard to leave knowing I may not see some of these friends again.  Super glad for the time I've had with them.

And one of my friends here across the river is obviously already ready to celebrate....

Found these on my front porch this afternoon as I went to get the boys from school.  I've tried to find out who it was from with no luck yet.  You were super sneaky and quiet!!  And I love the surprise of it - thank you to whoever you are!

It's 11:30.  I forgot to take the Dex (steroids) until about 7 tonight.  So I still have lots of energy.  The good news is that I can get lots of blog posts written and watch American Pickers at the same time all by myself cause everyone else in the house is on the norma,l non-steroid routine, and have gone to bed.  I love that my phone keeps chiming, telling me that I am already getting FB messages and texts from awesome friends, wishing me well for tomorrow, celebrating the end of this part of recovery.  I will say again and again that the fact that I've realized how much and how many people truly care about my family and I has been worth all the yucky stuff that has come with this journey.  Forever grateful.

I have my feet propped up.  I've been on them all day and they let me know that they are done with the vertical stance for a while.  I was on them for good reason.  Trying to make cookies for tomorrow.  I had tried and tried to come up with something creative to share with everyone at the doctor's office to celebrate the last big chemo treatment.  I finally settled on round sugar cookies with light pink icing and a brighter pink ribbon in the middle.  Brian came up with the idea to put them in those cellophane bags and tie a little card to each one.  He requested the Andes Mint cookies, but I thought those weren't special enough (remember this, cause if it were a movie or book, this would be foreshadowing).  So I spent most of the morning and afternoon cutting out cookies and baking them.  They looked like this, taking over the kitchen table:

 I taste tested one not long after it was out of the oven.  Oh yum!  I think all sugar cookies should be served warm.

So late this afternoon I decided to go ahead and start icing them.  I will preface this with the fact that I watched a LOT of Food Network this past chemo cycle.  To the point that I thought I could pretty much do anything Paula Deen or Ina Garten could do.  It was SO easy!  I knew I would be a pro in the kitchen as soon as I could get up off the couch for any length of time.  I was also convinced that I needed some new tools and cookware, but my budget convinced me otherwise.  So I watched Ina (aka Barefoot Contessa) decorate these sugar cookies the right way - so that the icing didn't run off the cookie.  I remembered everything she said (or so I thought) and printed the icing recipe off her webpage so that I could duplicate her work exactly.

And this is how they turned out.

Okay, a little part of me knew it would most likely turn out like this.  But I thought after all my time with the barefoot lady that I could conquer it.  Wrong.  And my legs were telling me that they were not going to cooperate for me to try to perfect it.  The perfecting would have to be accomplished later.  There was no way I could put these in a bag as a gift, so the creative celebration gift is now going to be donuts from our favorite donut place up the street (well, a few streets).  They are awesome donuts that we'll be glad to share.  Just disappointed that the original idea didn't work out.  Perhaps I should have listened to Brian cause there would be Andes Mint cookies in those special bags with the pretty ribbon and cute card right now.  Oh well.

I'm just excited to see everyone tomorrow and let them know how much we enjoy and appreciate them.  And to be done with chemo!!  Done.  Finished.  Finito.  Finale.  On to the next big thing :)

Well, except for one thing.  We've had an assignment from our doctor for a few weeks now.  To decide what we are going to do to celebrate and tell him what it is.  Seemed like we had a lot of time, yet here we are, the night before, still undecided.  I'm feeling some pressure to make sure it's really awesome.  Hate that kind of pressure.  Yet know that he's right.  If we don't decide and commit to something, time will go by and it will be forgotten.  I would love to take a trip, but I think that will be a long-term goal.  I'm thinking eating at a really great restaurant after my taste fully comes back (can you tell I really miss food?).  All I know is that we'd better come up with something!!

I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow (well, today now since it's 12:20am).