is it tomorrow yet?

It's been pointed out to me by a few people that the "tomorrow" that I promised in the last post has come and gone - by almost 3 weeks - with no new post.  Not even one single word or picture!  I might have an issue with time management.  Actually it's just that it's really busy around here (sounds familiar at your house, too, I'm sure), and by the time I sit down at night to blog I just don't have the energy to really put my heart into it.  But it's been long enough.

So I'm in my 3rd week of radiation now.  It is truly a piece of cake - especially compared to chemo.  I know that may change a little - the effects are cumulative, so the worst of the fatigue/skin irritations will come more toward the end of the treatment period.  Only in the past couple of days has my skin started looking a little pink and feeling a little tender, but that's really all and really not that bothersome.

The whole radiation experience is interesting, I think.  It's a very exact science with lots of math that I do not understand.  Yet something I think I would enjoy if I understood it.  Everyday, the whole process, from the time I park until the time I get back in the car, takes only about 20 minutes.  I think the majority of that time is usually getting me lined up exactly right on the machine.  The actual treatment is less than 5 minutes.  I really don't mind it.  I enjoy talking to the therapists.  I think the huge machine is actually very fascinating.  And I continue to be amazed at the thickness of the door when going into the room (it's got to be at least 6 inches thick).  Brian calls the room "the bunker".  I guess there is a good reason why everyone leaves the room when they actually start shooting the radiation :)  And because I've had to be in Chesterfield everyday, I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done now.  It really could be so much worse!

When they were doing my CT scan and then also when I went for my first radiation treatment, I remember thinking how different I felt compared to when I went in for surgery over 6 months ago.  Six months ago I was anxious about all that was before me.  The surgery, the anesthesia, the dye insertion and the chemo beyond that.  Now it didn't bother me to be doing any procedures or not know what was going to happen next anymore.  It's odd how you learn to just go with what you're given and trust that God has your back.  It's actually not odd - it's peaceful.

I've gained a lot of energy back.  Just in the past couple of weeks I've started to feel really closer to what "normal" was before chemo had its fun with us.  I can now climb the stairs without feeling like I've just run a marathon, and much to my family's relief I am able to cook, clean and pretty much keep up with the laundry - although I have a feeling they were enjoying everyone else's cooking a whole lot!!  I am so thankful to everyone who helped keep things running around here the past few months, and I am almost just as thankful to be able to do all of those tasks again myself. 

And my hair is growing back!  It's just a little peach fuzz right now, but it's there.  Ethan prayed hard for it to grow back red, but it looks like I'm going to continue being a brunette.  Unfortunately, the hair on my legs is also growing back.  I thought I could at least be rewarded with not having to deal with that anymore, but looks like that answer is "no".  I've also noticed some eyebrows growing in.  I never lost my eyebrows.  They thinned out and new growth stopped, but they were always there.  Now my eyelashes are a different story.  Just two weeks ago we were in Kansas City for a little family getaway and I was counting how many eyelashes I had left (cause that's my form of entertainment these days) and as I touched the ONE I found and started to say "Hey I only have one now!" it fell right out on my finger.  So ZERO is the big fat number of eyelashes I have left now.  And apparently they take the longest to grow back.  I don't mind it except that without them my eyes seem to water more, and eyeliner doesn't stay on very well so I often look really pale and ill.  That's okay, though.  Now I'll just start counting how many are growing back for my winter entertainment. 

The only really prevalent annoying side effect that is lingering around from chemo is the neuropathy in my fingers.  It's annoying.  It's difficult to button anything, certain textures feel horrible on my fingers (unfortunately fabric is one of them, so folding clothes honestly hurts my fingers - and I promise that's not an excuse to get out of doing the laundry), and the cold weather is making it seem worse.  My fingernails continue to bend and peel, also.  But if I have to keep some side effects around, I'll take these over almost any of the others that I have experienced in the past few months!

Okay, hopefully this makes up for the 3 weeks of silence - at the very least my husband has something to read at lunch now :)