hair.....one year later

Last Thanksgiving (2011) Brian and I decided that it would be interesting to document the comeback of my hair through pictures.  Originally we were going to do a photo everyday.  That crazy thought was replaced with one a week very quickly.  But I couldn't even keep up with that.  So it just became a "hey it's been a while since we took a picture of my hair" type of schedule.  I tried to at least get documentation of each stage.  

Sorry that the dates are kind of difficult to read.  Guess I should have used a different font, but it looked fine when I was doing it in Photoshop.  I think you can click on it and it will open in a new window in a larger size if you really want to see them.

Anyway, I wanted to share this with you since you've shared in our journey all this time. 

I'm so glad we did this, and in fact I think I will continue it for another year.

I have a few observations about this little collage:

1.  I think it goes down as the most different

hairstyles in one year for sure.

2.  It definitely saw the boldest hairstyles I've 

ever even entertained.

3.  As a spinoff from #2, I do not ever remember

having the desire to shave my head, have 

a pixie cut or anything else shorter than

chin-length.  But while I have complained

about different issues with each stage,

I've also enjoyed a lot of things about

having short hair and would definitely do 

some of them again.

4.  You should try to get your husband or a girlfriend

to photograph you as much as possible when 

doing a project like this.  When no one else

is around and your kids are the ones behind

the camera they do not feel compelled to tell you

when you're making a crazy face.

Looking at this I also have one overall regret - that I didn't shed the hats, scarves and wig earlier.

I did go sans head cover at home most of the time, but always found a need to cover up if I was leaving the house - risk of sunburn, it was cold outside, the kids would be embarrassed, people would stare even more than they already did.  All valid reasons, but if I were to do it over (which I do not plan to do), I would be much more open to just being bald all the time.

This next part is just telling a little about some of the pictures individually.  Mostly for me, but if you're interested, keep on reading.

(Perhaps this is why I have fallen off the blogging wagon.....my posts end up being so long that it seems a bit overwhelming!)

Thanksgiving 2011
This was really more than just the beginning of documenting
my hair growth.  This picture was taken on Thanksgiving,
when I had finally started feeling better after the last chemo treatment,
and if I remember right, food tasted good again.
But more than that, I was DONE with chemo.
When I started feeling better after each of the prior treatments
it was just in time to start another one.
Now I no longer had to anticipate what lied before me with any more treatments!

Early December
There wasn't a whole lot of change in these few weeks,
but you can see some fuzzies starting to show up in these two pictures! 

Only one month since the first picture.

It looks so much darker looking at it now.

At the time it felt like it had not grown one millimeter. 

Christmas Day.

Shortly after this picture, I started to go places without my security blankets of hats, wigs or scarves.

It felt good.  I was self-conscious for a few days, feeling some stares sometimes but that's just human nature.  It honestly did not upset me at all.  It was awkward sometimes, but I was never upset or angry about it.  I think most people are just curious or want to say something to you but aren't sure if you'll be receptive to it so they unknowingly are still looking at you while they are deciding if they are going to be courageous and talk to you or not.  But most people were so kind and would even approach me sharing a cancer story of their own or just to say they would pray for me.  I always wish that I was that outgoing.  And my friends and family were so encouraging,

of course.  In fact, the primary reason that I decided it was time to let the world in on my hair journey was that my dad's cousin, Ellie, made such a fuss over how much she loved it when I saw her at Christmas.  She wasn't saying it was cute or that it looked great on me or that it suited my face (you know all those things that we want to hear about our hair every once in a while).  She just thought it was great and loved that I was wearing it like that.  She had gone through cancer journeys

with two of her sisters and talked to me for a long time about mine.  I completely understand and empathize that some people aren't sure if you want to talk about cancer when you have it.

Some people are uncomfortable talking about it with you.  Some people don't know what to say and would rather not say much, afraid of offending you or bringing up bad memories.  I've been all of those people in all different situations.  I'm always intrigued how some people are just naturally comfortable

conversing with others, especially in a crisis situation or awkward moments.  I am not one of them.  But Ellie seemed to be.  At least that evening.  I completely enjoyed our conversation

and went home with more confidence that it was time for me to put the head covers away for a while.

 Early February

By this point I was realizing two things.

Number 1 - my hair is really dark!

Number 2 - Earrings and make-up go a LONG way in

helping a girl enjoy extremely short hair!

End of February

 I like to call this the "Spock" phase.
Star Trek lovers, you know what I'm saying.
Live long and prosper, right?

Can't see much scalp anymore - yay!!

It still didn't look much like a style to me, but at least you couldn't see skin.
This is definitely not my favorite picture.
I'm not sure why I kept it, except that it reminds
me that it was difficult going through all of these
stages.

Skipping to June now.

Guess we weren't very good about

taking pictures in the spring.

It was finally starting to look like an actual

hairstyle to me here.

In fact, I would do this one again.

It actually required some kind of maintenance

at this point.  Well, if you call towel-drying your 

hair and finger-styling with a bit of gel maintenance.

It was most definitely the best stage as far as

balance of ease and actual style.

And here we have the crazy face in July.

I kept thinking that in all the other pictures

one of my eyes looked droopy.  So I thought

I would try to keep both of them open really

good to combat that.

Ouch!

The messy look in the hair doesn't help matters.

It was a fun style though.  I was tired of it

being flat on my head and tried to give it

a little oomph (is that a word? I don't know).

Not my favorite but it was okay.

Another July picture - few weeks later.

And a bit tamer!  I liked this stage, too.

Long enough to be a style yet still easy to maintain.

I was still using the gel product, because I didn't

want it to be too poofy.  It was also very wavy/curly

and not quite long enough to use a flat iron.

If I were to cut it like this again, I think I would

blowdry it and then define it using this Rough Paste

that my neighbor told me about that I love and have 

been using for months now.  It would have given

it definition without making it look wet all the time.

I didn't know about it at the time, and I've learned a LOT about

styling products in the past year.

September

It's getting long enough to use some clips

and headbands.

Not really a fan of this look.  I liked having my

bangs pulled back and doing something fun

with it for a change, but that's a LOT of forehead there!

October

This is what the boys call my "Mizzou" hair.

I wanted to get highlights to do something

different, and I would say it is the most

controversial hair move I have made - possibly ever.

Seemed like everyone had an opinion -and each one

was different - and no one was

shy about sharing it :)  Of course I asked everyone

for their opinion, so it was all good.  The people who really

had to live with it everyday liked it, so I kept it

for a while.  But every morning I would look in

the mirror and have to do a double-take.  I just could

not get used to the "gold".  I liked it.  I liked it

on other people.  I guess the problem was that 

I was already trying to get used to short short hair 

everyday,  and changing the color 

just threw me for a loop.  I felt so bad asking

my hairdresser if we could darken it.  I truly did

like her work - it just didn't look like ME anymore.

But she totally understood and got me in right away to 

put some toner on it.  So thankful for her!

So it looked more like this early November.

You can see that the toner made the highlights

look more reddish-brown (satiating my desire

for red hair just a little bit maybe).  I felt like

I was back in my own skin - funny how much effect

a hairstyle or color can have on you :)

This was early November also.

Just without the raised eyebrow, eye-drooping 

avoidance face that was present in the one above.

I like this stage also.  It's a little awkward around

the ears where it's trying to grow past them, but

the rough paste usually helps.

Thanksgiving 2012

I do like this stage and have definitely thought

about keeping it like this for a while.

I had just got it cut the day before Thanksgiving,

and we decided to stack the back layers, keeping

them shorter and tapered toward my neck, and to

let the front layers grow longer.  I'm hoping

this will keep the back from feeling so thick

and heavy while the front grows out (which

for some reason seems like it is 10 times slower

than the back).  

Observations about this stage are that you

definitely need a flat iron, good product for

volume and definition, and hair accessories.

Why, you ask?

Because every morning your hair will look like this:

And no matter how you slice it, that is not how you

want to walk out of the house....not even just to 

drop your kids off at school.  Trust me, 

they will be embarrassed.