hair

I've been thinking about my hair more lately. I know it's very superficial. It's just hair. But the thought of not having hair is very daunting to me.

I've had my hair short, medium, long. Curly, straight. Layered, one length. Colored, highlighted, natural.

In fact this is probably the longest amount of time that I've kept one hair style. I used to change it up all the time. I decided to grow it out a couple of years ago, I think. ( I'm not good with judging time.) I kept seeing all kinds of cute ways to wear long hair and decided I was going to try to do that. I was tired of the easy, one-cute-style haircut I had been wearing.

I have enjoyed it so so much!!! I love that I can curl it or straighten it. Or pull it up. Or braid it or twist it.  Or wear a cute clip or a headband. It just opened a whole new world of hair possibilities for me - ha! It's definitely more work, but so much more fun to me.

So the thought of losing my hair soon has been on my mind a lot. I know it will grow back. But I'm sad to lose it. I keep seeing myself bald and am not liking what I'm seeing.

I really didn't want to do a wig. I just keep envisioning it flying off in this Missouri wind at some point. Which would be funny in the end, but worrying about that all the time would stress me out :) So I was thinking there are surely cute hats, scarves, turbans, etc. that would be just as fun as accessorizing my long hair. I was somewhat content with that. Not saying that I would not still be emotional about it, but at least I could look forward to having fun with what I had been given. Then I was reading that many women have a wig and also use hats, scarves, etc. just depending on what they were feeling that day. Hello....light bulb!  Why did I think it was all or nothing, either/or? And I guess I could get a fun wig. I've mentioned before that I always wanted to be a red head, and now may be my only chance. I'm still a bit concerned about the wind, but I'm definitely going to check into it. My friend's mom has given me great advice about wig shops and how she felt about it and I'm thinking it will be fun to check it out now.

But about a week ago, the thought of donating my hair came across my carousel. I had Elliott and Brian measure it, and it was just barely long enough to donate to Locks of Love.
So I decided to go ahead and cut it.  No matter what, I'm going to lose it with the chemo.  I would rather someone else enjoy it instead of it just falling to the floor and being swept into the trash.  Someone else needed it. I've enjoyed it for a long time. I'll enjoy the extra time I have with my family that I would have been using to style the long hair (not that I had been styling it lately - just ask my neighbors).

And today was the day:

The cutting begins

Almost done with the rough cut

(sorry for the quality - my photographer Elliott had shaky hands I guess)

You can't tell, because the end flips up, but it's right at 10 inches!

The "after" picture.

I'm excited about learning to style this short hair again.

I'm also excited that it's so carefree.

Brian will be excited that he never has to shampoo that long mess of hair again :)

(I think he gained a new appreciation for my hair the one time he had to do this last week)

My friend, Julie, who cuts my hair. 

I'm positive she is the only reason I didn't cry. 

Love my talks with her while she cuts my hair. 

And she does an awesome job!!!

{Again, the photographer may need more training :) }

I keep thinking of this story when God sent Samuel to anoint the new king, Samuel only knew that it was one of Jesse's sons, but not which one. He kept thinking the one God had chosen was surely one of David's brothers since they "looked" like Samuel thought that a king should look and David was really a scrawny shepherd boy. God said to Samuel "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b).

I'm so glad this is true, but it's so hard to swallow when your appearance is going through a major change. I really like my new cut.....it's the thought of it all coming out that is still difficult for me.  I need to get over it......perhaps some ice cream will help.

You should have seen Ethan's face this morning when I was explaining the reason we were on our way to get my hair cut. The boys knew I would be losing my hair, but I guess the picture of me bald had never entered their minds yet. He was so sweet. He had asked if it was all going to fall out, and I told him I would eventually be bald.  I could tell by the look on his face that he was a bit apprehensive about his mom being bald, but he did not say a word. And then breathed a huge sigh of relief when I let him know that I would wear a wig when we were out and about. Poor guy! He was so afraid that he was going to have to walk around with a bald-headed mom.  And they don't want me to be a red head. Seriously??  They say they like the color that it is now. They think it's weird that I would want to do something different. We'll see.