4:56

That is what my alarm clock said the last time I remember looking at it this morning, trying to fall asleep.  I had had a busy weekend (for me) and was so tired that I laid down to rest a few minutes Monday afternoon and ended up sleeping for 2 hours!  It felt great at the time.  However, later that night I forgot to take my steroids until bedtime.  Not a good combination.  I realized what I had just done to myself right after I swallowed them.  Ugh.  I could NOT get to sleep.  As each hour ticked by I kept thinking about how this was not the start I wanted for chemo today.  Which probably made it harder to sleep, with the anxiety of that swimming in my head.

I tried to lay as still as I could so that Brian wouldn't wake up.  He kept tossing and turning, and I wanted so badly to say that I was sorry but was afraid I would wake him up if he was really just moving around in his sleep.  I kept thinking I should be productive, but I thought if I came downstairs and started working on something that would probably make it even longer before I could settle down enough to sleep.  So I just thought about all the things riding one the carousel of thought in my brain (which were surprisingly many at 2:30 in the morning).  I prayed a lot.  I looked at almost every blog post in Reader.  I perused a lot of apps.

But I made it through chemo today and do not feel that tired yet.  I'm starting to fade, but I know I can go to bed soon without a nap and can take the steroids with dinner, and hopefully all will be good tonight and I can get back on track.  I'm really hoping this doesn't affect my usual good day tomorrow.  I have just a few things I need to get done before the side effects really start setting in.  Just praying for a few good hours of productivity tomorrow :)