brothers, sisters and circles

My friend, Teresa, sent this to me on Facebook a few days ago. As my life goes right now, I just this afternoon sat down to watch and listen. And there were tears from the very beginning. I wanted to share it with you all because, to me, it's a tribute to you, my circle of support. At one point in the video a woman says that you know that people love you but you really don't know how much until you get sick. Oh how true that has been for me!

I'm at a point in the course of my treatment that I really just want to be done with it. I want to quit. I hate the anticipation of being sick every 3 weeks. I hate being sick every 3 weeks. I hate laying on the couch for a week.  I hate feeling nauseated and unable to eat, yet so hungry.  I know the cancer is gone and I find myself wondering what would it really matter if I didn't do the rest of the treatments (no worries though - I'm going to do them). I hate feeling like a burden to my friends and family - not that anyone has ever made me feel that way - just that I can't accomplish all of my responsibilities on my own right now and I hate that other people have to take on those responsibilities in addition to their own families' needs.

All of this to say that if it were not for all of you "loving me through this" I don't know how I would be doing it. I just finished (finally) reading through Acts again. I started before I was diagnosed and just finished the last chapter last week - I know I'm slow but I only read a little at a time cause I really want to think about it and let it sink in. Anyway, after I was diagnosed, and you all seemingly busted down my door to love on me and support me, I would be reading about Paul's journeys and how, in every place he visited, there were "brothers" who were so excited to see him and, for lack of a better word, loved on him and supported him and his ministry in so many ways. And while I do not dare compare myself to Paul, I immediately saw the parallel between you all and the "brothers". He had a support group that freely gave of themselves out of their love for Christ and for Paul, and you all do the same with me.

You have taken the kids to play just when I needed it. without me even asking. somehow you just knew.

You have brought us meals when I didn't feel like even opening my eyes.

You have encouraged us with texts, emails, phone calls and messages.

You have popped in to visit just to brighten my day.

You have rearranged your work schedule so that Brian could be with me.

You have stayed with us to help keep our family going while I was on the couch.

You have let me cry on your shoulder.

You understood without hesitation and were even two steps ahead of me when I said I had to take a little break from volunteering.

You have dropped what you were doing and ran to the store to get what I needed right then.

You have driven hours just to come and see us and tell us you love us.

You have used your hands to make the most beautiful works of art to comfort me during chemo.

You have stolen me away and taken me to lunch to get some fresh air.

You have sent us cards, packages and flowers and dropped surprises at our door just to brighten our days.

You have given me hugs every time I see you and have let me hug you.

You have shared your stories with us to encourage us and to let us know we are not alone.

You have invited the boys over for playdates and sleepovers so I could rest.

You have encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and share part of my story with others.

You have sat with me through chemo treatments.

You have offered to clean my house, do my laundry, go grocery shopping, taxi the boys around, take me to doctor visits, sit with me at chemo.

You have been patient and understanding when I have had to take a break from communication.

You have organized an amazing group of people to walk together in support of breast cancer patients in my honor.

You have done so much more.


I believe that as time goes on I will start to forget about how difficult it was to recover from surgery.  I will forget the true awfulness of the chemo's side effects.  I will forget that food tasted horrible for weeks and that just as it started tasting better it would be time for chemo again and the whole cycle would start over.  I will forget how sensitive I was to any kind of smell.  I will forget that I could hardly function without a nap and had headaches everyday. 
I believe what I will always remember from this is how selfless and generous you have been to us.  How you have absolutely let us know that we will never be alone in this journey.   Often when we pray with the boys, we pray that they (and we) will be a light to someone and somehow show God's love to someone.  You all have been that light to us, more than you will ever know.  You are our "brothers" - okay, you are mostly "sisters", but you get the point :)

"You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:14-16

Thank you for not hiding your light from us and for loving us through this!